Embracing Memories: Lessons Learned with Time

It’s personal opinion time. We’ve heard the obvious aspects of aging: confidence, cheese, wine. Rarely do I hear anyone talk about memories. Whether bad or good, I believe our recollection of past events gradually improves with time.

When I first started middle school, I was shy. Middle school in my small town was separate from the elementary school where my mom worked. Most of my elementary school friends made fun of me or excluded me from conversations. My best friend included. I felt alone.

One afternoon, while waiting for the bus, I noticed a boy who the school considered, for a better word, quirky with a spider in hand. I asked if playing with a spider was safe. His suspicious gaze hurt the moment he stared at me. Finally, he offered to show me. As I held out a hand, the creature crawled from his hand to mine and giggled for the first time since starting this new school. There’s no telling how long I crouched there, occupied with the tiny arachnid on my palm, before someone chanted, “Look, look, they’re sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g.”

When I realized it was my best friend pointing at us, I stood in a hurry. I tried to deny it, but I felt my face heat as more eyes fell on us.

At this stage, all I could see was my best friend laughing. To this day, I’m still not sure what happened. I was blank as she approached, still pointing, except for one thought. Please make her stop.

I later learned that I had ducked under her arm like a ninja, grabbed and twisted it until she screamed.

It was more than an overreaction on my part. She stopped being my friend, and her guardians blamed me for everything. My actions haunted me, even after I apologized.

Over the years, it slowly turned into part of my past. I still regret my behavior then and believe we should have discussed it. But I no longer hold hurt over remembering.