The Eternal To-Do List: Driving (Allegedly)

At the very top of my personal Santa’s List of Things That Absolutely Should Be Done By Now™ sits one glaring, unwrapped gift: learning how to drive.

Before anyone starts drafting a strongly worded letter about responsibility, adulthood, and the shocking concept of operating a vehicle, I have a defense. A slightly chaotic, mildly tragic, and admittedly entertaining defense.

First, my high school treated driver’s education like it was Willy Wonka’s golden ticket. You didn’t sign up—you hoped. You dreamed. You whispered your name into the void and prayed it would be drawn from the sacred lottery bowl.

Mine was not.

So while other teens were parallel parking their way into freedom, I was… watching. Learning. Absorbing. Manifesting, if you will.

Eventually, I took initiative. I found a driving instructor through a friend of a friend—a kind, older woman who specialized in teaching people how to drive on the right side of the road. Which, in hindsight, feels like a metaphor for my life: technically correct, but still slightly off-center.

Things started strong. I learned how to park. I felt powerful. Capable. Like someone who might one day legally merge onto a highway.

And then—poof.

She vanished.

No calls. No lessons. No closure. Just me, my half-baked driving skills, and a parking job I’m still emotionally attached to.

Round two: family.

Now, if you’ve ever wanted to test the strength of familial bonds, I highly recommend putting your dad in the passenger seat while you attempt to operate a moving vehicle for the first time. Nothing says “quality time” like being told you’re doing everything wrong while actively trying not to hit a mailbox.

As for my mom? Let’s just say her heart deserves better than what I bring to a turning radius.

Because yes—at one point, while attempting a perfectly innocent turn into a parking lot, I accidentally did donuts.

Plural.

Unintentional. Unplanned. Unforgettable.

So now, learning how to drive remains on my to-do list. Not crossed off. Not forgotten. Just… lingering. Like a threat. Or a promise. Or a future insurance premium waiting to happen.

One day, I’ll get there.

But for now? The roads are safer this way 🚗💨